In my past entries I wrote stuffs. Stuffs that might give you ideas about me and my life. I never intended to make my self appear good (i know I'm not!), its just that, recently all things are falling into the right place and I can't think of bad things to write about.
This time I think is the right time to know me better. I am giving you a glimpse of how bad I am and what catastrophe I can contribute this world. I admit, I never wanted to be bad, I even tried the stupid idea of being a good boy. But now I'd prefer to be myself. Hate me if you want to-- who knows the feeling could be mutual.
I was once a very social being. Playing my cards just right. Tried to be friendly to every people I meet. I decided to change, I don't know why. Maybe because when One gets older (E.M.O.attack-- here it comes, I am admitting I am getting old), One gets to realize that you don't need people around you to be happy. 3 (pwede more or less) good and real friends, a family who loves you and supports you all the way is enough (at least for me--- let me add a job that pays well). “A friend to everybody is a friend to nobody” I say... Sounds negative, don't blame me.. Had my share and believe me it was a hell of experience and I mean it in the most negative way possible.
When I get angry I get very “mangkukulam” at times. I don't wish for that person (the cause of my anger) to die immediately. I want him/her/them/it (whatever!) to suffer. I wish them bad luck in every aspect of their life and in all things. Now, I don't bother anymore, let them hate me. I admit, I curse and say awful things when I get mad. Maybe for an hour or two (a day as maximum). But after all the drama, thinking of them doesn't bother me anymore(sometime..).
Well.... I haven't yet got my point through but I am now so tired. Need to rest for a while. I might make the second part of this entry next Saturday. But for now... this is all what I have to offer.