I had a short vacation. It was quick and fun. When I got back to Davao, we immediately rushed my Mom to the hospital. She got confined in the ICU for severe chest and back pain. When she calmed down at around 4 in the morning I was exhausted but couldn’t find a place to sleep. The watcher’s area of the ICU was at its worst state. It is a replica of an evacuation center. Add relief goods and we all would look like victims of fire and flooding.
I will try to write more when I get my grove back. So, I am leaving a promise in this post, the itinerary of my whole trip and post.
SURIGAO: Enchanted River, Tinuy-an Falls Adventure, PUGAD (Green Bay Over night), Britania Island Tour, Lolong- The Biggest Crocodile in captivity, and finally, The Hospital Ordeal.
I haven’t been writing a lot lately, at least not for this blog. 15 posts for 2011 is not a good statistics. I will try to write more starting today. I might tweak this blog to make it even more functional and helpful to the general public. I will try to write at least once a day.
I am not an authority when it comes to talking about values and respect, about life and responsibility. I have lived a life so carelessly that my virtues are tainted with so many dark spots. But I have learned things in these 25 years of existence, some outrageous and stupid but very practical and real. Let me share some of them to you.
1. You can't trust anyone to make you happy. People will fail you and make you cry, it is natural. Just care for them and don't expect to receive the same caring.
2. Pay your debts. Your word is tantamount to your credibility. If you have debts, pay them. This will increase your credit line and credit standing in the future.
3. Keep your promises, and if you can't keep them, face it. People rely on promises even if they say they don’t. So keep your promises.
4. Don't cry out loud. People will see your weakness if you do. Take things in a stride and keep your emotions to yourself until the time is right to show it.
5. Stop holding on to something that is not worth it.
6. Simplify your life. You don't need fancy things to make it through to living.
7. Don't sweat over small things.
At the end of the day, all you have is yourself to blame for the things done and undone. Make the most out of living and live it the way you want it. Money is a strong driving force in human life but don’t let it ruin you. Again, all you have is yourself; everything else plays second in this game of life.
I am becoming grumpier and grumpier each passing day. I have been mostly tired after so many sleepless nights. The writing, blog commenting,some random events, and social media task is taking its tool on me. I just feel tired and I mean very tired.
I still need to catch up with my sleep. I want to eat non-stop. I need to finish all my backlogs.I need some time for myself.
I am currently in my web design class and I can't grasp anything. The MySQL lessons is so alien to me while the codes look all the same as well. If you ever tried copying everything verbatim and still can't get it right, you know you are in a big sh*t hole. I know, because currently I am in that place.
I need a good laugh, I need a bottle of beer, I need to eat in a buffet, I need to sleep, I need my movie time back, I need a vacation . But, I still need to write 200 short descriptions, I need to post blog comments to 50 dofollow blogs, I need to write 7 web reviews (700-900 words each), I need to process photos and I need to check for new strategies.
So instead of trying to dissect and understand how all these crazy codes work,and how they would affect each other, here I am updating my blog and writing a random entry. Instead of doing the things that should be done,here I am ranting and pouring myself out in this blog.
I had this chat with a friend few days ago and I was proud to have said the right things all at the right time. Just a little backgrounder, I have been hearing a lot of rumors lately. Being the ambassador of peace and goodwill (a title I bestowed upon myself) I have met a lot of people in my 25 years of existence, so I get first hand information of things I need to know and even things I don’t need to know. Receiving a SMS about varied information is not new to me but I was still a little annoyed when I heard about the news that apparently a friend of this friend of mine was talking behind my back and saying nasty things. I couldn’t grasp the logic why she hates me that much to say awful things. The immature me kicked in but I decided to suppress it knowing it will do me more harm. I reminded myself not to be consumed by anger and revenge even if the thought of it is very tempting.
To pacify myself, I decided to talk to this friend of mine who in the first place introduced the two of us. Good thing, he said sorry and made a vow to reprimand the guilty party. I admit I was angry at him for even toying with the idea that we could all work together in perfect harmony (hahahaha) when in fact it was obvious from the start that our planets were not revolving around the same orbit. Partly, it was my fault because I allowed it to happen. Lesson learned, no matter how good you are to people, they will still hurt and make fun of you. If it was not meant to be, it can never be.
I blamed their age for the foolish things they did. I know maturity does not come with age but wisdom does. I am older than them so I think I am at the position to be more understanding, to take things at a stride and let things pass. If they ever chance upon this blog, I would like to give you my take on maturity.
1. Never say or do things when you are angry- Be silent, be still. Never say or do hurtful things which would just worsen things. In silence you hear yourself more. Listen to it, write down your thoughts, when the storm is over read back on what you have written and evaluate your emotions. You will then realize that you could have said all those things and make matters worse.
2. Closure is the key to moving on- after the anger, talk like normal and learned people do. Explain your points, listen to explanation, forgive and never bring back ghost. Digging up some old issues is a sign that closure has never occurred. We all move on but at some point we never move away. We still get stuck at the same sh*t hole we were before and we cannot ignore the smell. We just have to know that we were able to clean the sh*t but the smell remains. The smell would remind us not to go through the whole stinky process all over again.
3. Keep your promises- I don’t take promises lightly, so when you vow not to do it again you are asking me to trust you to keep that promise. And when I say “OKAY” I mean it.
4. Say what you mean and mean what you say- words are powerful, be careful with it.
5. Lastly, this is the value I live by all my life. “If you trust a man hire him. If you don’t, then do not hire him”. Life is a cycle of hiring and firing people. You take people in, evaluate them and decide if you want them to be a part of your life. When you take them in, you give an implied notion that you trust them. At the end of the day, it is still your call if you want to retain them in your life or let them go.
Our whole life is a constant struggle for acceptance and respect. When I was younger, I wanted to please everybody. I wanted to be the perfect son, friend, employee, and a perfect person. At this age, I realized I don’t need to please anyone, that I don’t need anyone to accept me. I hate explaining myself. For as the old adage would say, “People who loves you won’t need your explanation, and people who just don’t care won’t believe it anyway”. At this point, I really don’t care what other people would think of me. As long as I am doing the good thing I am ought to be doing, then I am at the right track, just another lesson on maturity.
This is a repost actually. I wrote this entry for another blog that I created late last year. I wanted that blog to be a little anonymous and mysterious but I eventually decided to quit writing on it. I just can't hop from one blog to another. It is now secured and locked and I am certain I will never bring that blog up again. I wrote things and dropped some names there and I will surely regret if it gets any association with my current status, that dirty little old blog will ruin me. I decided to take this entry out and post it here because I like this post. It is too personal, too secretive and too tricky to tell.
One could not phantom the logic behind letting go and holding on or the relationship between losing and finding. Not until you get the bitter sweet taste of it. It is feels like taking a dose of adult paracetamol, it is bitter, hard to swallow tablet but it makes you feel better at the end of the day.
These past months have been a test of character for me. I admittedly got off in a wrong foot this year, ending and starting a year with lies is not a good way to start and end it. I thought I was clever excepting to pull this through when all the while I knew it was bound to be disaster. Half way through the ordeal, I realized I was being saved by an angel. I should have seen it when I first answered that call, when I first replied to that text message, when I first compared the two of you.
When this circus ends, I know I will have to get back to the person who knew me and who cared enough to make me feel loved. The person who remembers every little detail of what I want and hate, who I love and hate, I like and despise. I have to build a relationship with the person who knew me even before all the glitz and glamor, achievement and success, money and fame. I have to keep my promises to the people who cared enough to fulfill their promises and not with the person who promised sweet nothings. For today, I choose to lose you and find that right person.
I know I said I will be posting an entry soon, I failed and I am sorry. I don’t usually break my promises but when you are paid to write about other people’s sexual proclivities, you sometimes get writer’s block. When you are paid to say nasty words, you need to back out from the niche to write something decent and regular. When everyday of your life you get to wake up and write about *ss licking, f*cking, s*cking and erotic pleasures there is a very slim chance that you will be able to produce a decent post as this post is suppose to be.
Anyway, our team went out to celebrate an event and to have a little rest and recreation as well. Pizza Party! We went to Mamma Maria’s Pizzeria to avail of their buy-1-take-1 pizza offer. On the Scale of 1 to 10, I’d give them a 6. It surely was not the best pizza in town and I didn’t jump up and down after a good fill but it was an OKAY experience. Their new place located at Ecoland area was cozy and good, very little crowd and the service was superb. We were supposed to have a Karaoke session last Saturday but we were all too tired to even get up and make it happen, maybe next time.
(please disregard the dates in the pictures... crazy camera setting)
After being away for several months, I finally decided to get back to blogging, so quick updated now. Time check it is 4:30 in the morning and I need to get some sleep before I start with my work (again).
1. I finally decided to stop working in a formal office set up. Good bye to formal outfit, slacks pants and leather shoes. Hello to working all day smelling like stinky fish, half naked with only under pants on, and smoking while on duty with a bottle of beer by my side.
2. Is now working home base. A more politically correct way of saying I am an official BUMMER. We finally started with our long time plan of working on an elite (what the hell does elite mean?) group of internet marketers.
3. Stopped teaching. I think I mentioned this in my previous post. I admit I miss the thrill of coming to school unprepared for the lesson and pretending to know what I am actually saying. I am so clever that at times I don’t understand what I am saying inside the class, but it did work for some time.
4. Started writing for clients again. Niches are on dental health, flirting and dating, porn site review and porn item description. I know some niches are boring but some just keeps me awake. I mean really awake…hahahahah
5. Is missing someone terribly. Duh! But who cares?
2011 is a new year for me, my family, and my friends. We have so much to look up to and so many things we need to settle. This year marks my silver year. So, I decided to make the most out of my blog this year and for the years to come.
November 2007 when I first started this blog, I am not an avid blogger, so at times I just let days, months and even years fly by without me checking the status of my blog. More than 3 years and this blog is still in the same sh*t hole as it is from where it started. It has been and still is in the web for too long now and why write a self introduction now? It is because I have never formally introduced my self in this blog. So here it comes.
I am Adz
Was born, raised, is still living in Davao City~~ The Land of Promise
Born May 3, 1986 @ Davao City
A son to an Islam Father and Catholic Mother which make me experience the beauty of both faith
Lived in Julu Sulu for a while
Came back to Davao to study
I am Catholic by choice
I can speak both Cebuano and Tausug dialect
I am a brother to two elder brothers and a younger sister
A friend to few good friends who I value as my family
I skipped prep school and started elementary at 6 when the age requirement was 7
A product of a Public school education system during elementary
Graduated from a Catholic school during High School
A graduate of BS Accountancy
A Certified International Bookkeeper
Worked as a Staff Auditor and resigned after 6 months
Worked as a Accounting in-charge for a lending company and resigned after 2 months
Worked as a bookkeeper and had a company transfer after 2 years
Worked as a bookkeeper in a BPO firm and was hired as a team leader for a non-voice account while handling accounting task
Resigned after 1 year of working 16 hours a day
Took Commercial cooking class and is now a holder of Level II- TESDA National Competency on commercial cooking
Taught Financial Management, Business Finance and Expository English for 1 semester thinking that teaching is my passion~ resigned for some personal reason
Now doing odd things here and there
Started blogging for no reason at all
Will start blogging again to rave and rant
These are just 25 things about me, equivalent to the 25 years of existence. The stories in between and the years to come are yet to be told and unknown, will keep you posted.
Minsan gusto mong lumayo at huwag tumigil dito. Dito kong saan lahat ay parang isang déjà vu nang mga nag daang panahon. Pilitin mo mang lumayo bumabalik ka pa rin kung saan ka nasasaktan at nahihirapan. Isang di mapagpalayang karanasan na di mo alam kung bakit pilit-pilit mong binabalikan at dinadama.
Gusto mong maghanap nang kausap kaya binahagi mo ang buhay mo sa taong bingi. Humingi nang payo sa taong pipi kasi di mo na alam ang gagawin. Naghanap nang sagot at deriksyon sa taong bulag na ni minsan ay di nasilayan ang sikat ng araw. Nagbakasaling i-abot sa iyo ng taong putol ang kamay ang gusto mong maabot at turuan kang mag lakad sa tamang daan ng taong lumpo.
Mali-mali ang lahat ng desisyon at tinahak na landas. Di man tama, heto tayo dinadama ang bawat tibok at pintig ng puso. Parang roller coaster na nakakahilo man ang pagsakay, isang katotohanan na alam mo na kahit di mo pa nadarama, susubukan mo parin. At kahit ngayong alam mo na ano ang pakiramdam, babalik at babalik ka parin para ma tikman ang muling pag byahe kung saan.
After a long period of hiatus, I finally got the time to blog again. With my review and classes taking most of my waking hours, I can hardly get to write something that makes sense. So many things to do so little time, so just an update now, this will be short and fast.
1. I started teaching handling business subject. One dream achieved for this year. I have always wanted to teach but I never got the chance to work on it. Ang saya nang academe industry. You get to touch young people’s lives and get to share your knowledge. I wanted to appear strict to my student pero I can’t help but be cool and kengkoy with them.
2. I started with my review again. Hirap! Parang balik elementary ako, behind sa lahat ng bagay, parang kinder lang na nakisali sa college class. Hope to reap good results this time.
Ang dami kong binago this year, ang dami kong na realize and gustong itama na mali. 2010 was a year of moving on and realization. 2011 is the year of change. I am having a very difficult time here. I made some big moves; I hope I can live with it.
“I know I can always take care of my self, but now I want someone who can prove to me that I can’t”
A collection of stories and very personal adventures. I am not a writer so you can call me a trying hard blogger. I just wanna share my life to those who find interest in the most common things. As an ambivert I am everything you are. I laugh at funny and stupid things and had my share of crazy stuff in life. Be with me in my journey... you and I share the same thoughts... My confession is yours also.. Because in some ways we are all AMBIVERT's.