the end....

You never realize how much a friend means to you until they leave you.

My Take on Maturity

I had this chat with a friend few days ago and I was proud to have said the right things all at the right time. Just a little backgrounder, I have been hearing a lot of rumors lately. Being the ambassador of peace and goodwill (a title I bestowed upon myself) I have met a lot of people in my 25 years of existence, so I get first hand information of things I need to know and even things I don’t need to know. Receiving a SMS about varied information is not new to me but I was still a little annoyed when I heard about the news that apparently a friend of this friend of mine was talking behind my back and saying nasty things. I couldn’t grasp the logic why she hates me that much to say awful things. The immature me kicked in but I decided to suppress it knowing it will do me more harm. I reminded myself not to be consumed by anger and revenge even if the thought of it is very tempting.

To pacify myself, I decided to talk to this friend of mine who in the first place introduced the two of us. Good thing, he said sorry and made a vow to reprimand the guilty party. I admit I was angry at him for even toying with the idea that we could all work together in perfect harmony (hahahaha) when in fact it was obvious from the start that our planets were not revolving around the same orbit. Partly, it was my fault because I allowed it to happen. Lesson learned, no matter how good you are to people, they will still hurt and make fun of you. If it was not meant to be, it can never be.

I blamed their age for the foolish things they did. I know maturity does not come with age but wisdom does. I am older than them so I think I am at the position to be more understanding, to take things at a stride and let things pass. If they ever chance upon this blog, I would like to give you my take on maturity.

1.    Never say or do things when you are angry- Be silent, be still. Never say or do hurtful things which would just worsen things. In silence you hear yourself more. Listen to it, write down your thoughts, when the storm is over read back on what you have written and evaluate your emotions. You will then realize that you could have said all those things and make matters worse.

2.    Closure is the key to moving on- after the anger, talk like normal and learned people do. Explain your points, listen to explanation, forgive and never bring back ghost. Digging up some old issues is a sign that closure has never occurred. We all move on but at some point we never move away. We still get stuck at the same sh*t hole we were before and we cannot ignore the smell. We just have to know that we were able to clean the sh*t but the smell remains. The smell would remind us not to go through the whole stinky process all over again.

3.    Keep your promises- I don’t take promises lightly, so when you vow not to do it again you are asking me to trust you to keep that promise. And when I say “OKAY” I mean it.

4.    Say what you mean and mean what you say- words are powerful, be careful with it.

5.    Lastly, this is the value I live by all my life. “If you trust a man hire him. If you don’t, then do not hire him”. Life is a cycle of hiring and firing people. You take people in, evaluate them and decide if you want them to be a part of your life. When you take them in, you give an implied notion that you trust them. At the end of the day, it is still your call if you want to retain them in your life or let them go.

Our whole life is a constant struggle for acceptance and respect. When I was younger, I wanted to please everybody. I wanted to be the perfect son, friend, employee, and a perfect person. At this age, I realized I don’t need to please anyone, that I don’t need anyone to accept me. I hate explaining myself. For as the old adage would say, “People who loves you won’t need your explanation, and people who just don’t care won’t believe it anyway”. At this point, I really don’t care what other people would think of me. As long as I am doing the good thing I am ought to be doing, then I am at the right track, just another lesson on maturity.


On Losing and Finding

This is a repost actually. I wrote this entry for another blog that I created late last year. I wanted that blog to be a little anonymous and mysterious but I eventually decided to quit writing on it. I just can't hop from one blog to another. It is now secured and locked and I am certain I will never bring that blog up again. I wrote things and dropped some names there and I will surely regret if it gets any association with my current status, that dirty little old blog will ruin me. I decided to take this entry out and post it here because I like this post. It is too personal, too secretive and too tricky to tell.


One could not phantom the logic behind letting go and holding on or the relationship between losing and finding. Not until you get the bitter sweet taste of it. It is feels like taking a dose of adult paracetamol, it is bitter, hard to swallow tablet but it makes you feel better at the end of the day.

These past months have been a test of character for me. I admittedly got off in a wrong foot this year, ending and starting a year with lies is not a good way to start and end it. I thought I was clever excepting to pull this through when all the while I knew it was bound to be disaster. Half way through the ordeal, I realized I was being saved by an angel. I should have seen it when I first answered that call, when I first replied to that text message, when I first compared the two of you.

When this circus ends, I know I will have to get back to the person who knew me and who cared enough to make me feel loved. The person who remembers every little detail of what I want and hate, who I love and hate, I like and despise. I have to build a relationship with the person who knew me even before all the glitz and glamor, achievement and success, money and fame. I have to keep my promises to the people who cared enough to fulfill their promises and not with the person who promised sweet nothings. For today, I choose to lose you and find that right person.

Pizza Party Media Solutions

I know I said I will be posting an entry soon, I failed and I am sorry. I don’t usually break my promises but when you are paid to write about other people’s sexual proclivities, you sometimes get writer’s block. When you are paid to say nasty words, you need to back out from the niche to write something decent and regular. When everyday of your life you get to wake up and write about *ss licking, f*cking, s*cking and erotic pleasures there is a very slim chance that you will be able to produce a decent post as this post is suppose to be.

Anyway, our team went out to celebrate an event and to have a little rest and recreation as well. Pizza Party! We went to Mamma Maria’s Pizzeria to avail of their buy-1-take-1 pizza offer. On the Scale of 1 to 10, I’d give them a 6. It surely was not the best pizza in town and I didn’t jump up and down after a good fill but it was an OKAY experience. Their new place located at Ecoland area was cozy and good, very little crowd and the service was superb. We were supposed to have a Karaoke session last Saturday but we were all too tired to even get up and make it happen, maybe next time.

(please disregard the dates in the pictures... crazy camera setting)

 the team

 Juvy and Kokong


 Yen and Juvy



the victim



Will Post Something Tomorrow


Quick Update After A Long Hiatus

After being away for several months, I finally decided to get back to blogging, so quick updated now. Time check it is 4:30 in the morning and I need to get some sleep before I start with my work (again).

1.    I finally decided to stop working in a formal office set up. Good bye to formal outfit, slacks pants and leather shoes.  Hello to working all day smelling like stinky fish, half naked with only under pants on, and  smoking while on duty with a bottle of beer by my side.

2.    Is now working home base. A more politically correct way of saying I am an official BUMMER. We finally started with our long time plan of working on an elite (what the hell does elite mean?) group of internet marketers.

3.    Stopped teaching. I think I mentioned this in my previous post. I admit I miss the thrill of coming to school unprepared for the lesson and pretending to know what I am actually saying. I am so clever that at times I don’t understand what I am saying inside the class, but it did work for some time.

4.    Started writing for clients again. Niches are on dental health, flirting and dating, porn site review and porn item description. I know some niches are boring but some just keeps me awake. I mean really awake…hahahahah

5.    Is missing someone terribly. Duh! But who cares?